Learning how to make up with your girlfriend the right way can take some time. Navigating those rough waters is a lot easier with some help, though.
So you got in a fight. Big deal. It happens to every couple out there and it’s not the end of the world – or the relationship. It just means you have differing thoughts and opinions about something. If you don’t make an effort to figure out how to make up with your girlfriend, issues can arise.Loading...
But that’s not always as easy as it sounds. When couples argue, tension is on the rise and rational thinking doesn’t always find a place. Being able to make up after a fight and get back to a loving place can take time to learn.
Relationships are all about the give and take
This applies to almost every area of your relationship. You can’t just be with someone and expect them to always give in to your requests and opinions. In order to make it work and remain healthy, there has to be some level of give and take.
Otherwise, one person will just resent the other. The more you take, the less the other person is going to want to give you. This creates friction and enough of that, and your relationship will burn down into a pit of charred misery.
How to make up with your girlfriend and keep your relationship healthy
If you truly want a happy relationship, then your goal should be a HEALTHY relationship. And that means knowing how to make up with your girlfriend in a way that not only keeps her happy, but in a way that also provides a learning opportunity for you as a couple. Here’s how to nail that down.
#1 Take a breather. You’re no good to her if you’re heated and still angry. People do dumb things out of anger and you never want to do something you might regret simply because you’re in a fight.
So go take a break. Calm yourself down and then return to her when the two of you can actually talk things out. Being able to step away can also help you see things more clearly and help you think rationally about the situation.
#2 Discuss the argument. And when I say, “discuss,” I mean actually sit down and talk about it like adults. No yelling. No slamming doors. You have to be able to talk about it in normal tones or else you won’t be able to make up with your girlfriend. So calm down enough to get to this level and then go to her.
#3 Put your own thoughts aside while you listen. Let her explain herself. Just like you want to get your own thoughts out, so does she. She deserves the opportunity to tell you why she feels a certain way. So put your own thoughts aside as she does this so you’re not constantly putting her down even in your mind.
#4 Acknowledge your part in the argument. Two people are always at fault for one reason or another. If you always claim innocence, you’ll never be able to make up with her. Acknowledge what you did and even apologize for it in order to make up with your girlfriend.
#5 Apologize for anything harmful you did. And even what you said. There are things you may have did or said in the heat of the moment that’ll make it harder for you two to get back to a peaceful state. Apologize for the things you did wrong and just own up to them. It’ll help you get back on her good side.
#6 Try to understand where she’s coming from. It’s easy to be selfish in arguments. You have something to say and you’ll be damned if it won’t be heard. But you have to take a step back and think about things the way she’s explaining them. Understand why she feels the way she does and it’ll help you solve the issue at hand.
#7 Put yourself in her shoes. Take the previous tip a step further and actually put yourself in her shoes. You may not be able to understand what she’s talking about from the way you’re looking at things.
Think about how you’d feel if you were her. Think about how things would look if you were in her position. This is a great way to see how your actions can be completely construed given how they’re seen.
#8 Talk about what’s really bothering you. Most arguments are a result of a much larger issue. It’s like you hit a wall and can’t hold anything back anymore. So although you may have left the toilet seat up again, your girl could be upset for bigger reasons.
You have to talk about the things that are really upsetting the both of you. This might not be something you can do right away but it is beneficial to work on communication in your relationship as a whole. It’ll help you figure out how to make up with your girlfriend a lot easier.
#9 Initiate some physical contact. After feelings have simmered and you’re actually talking, go ahead and make some physical contact. Hold her hand or place your hand on the small of her back. You can even hug her. Just don’t do this while tension still runs high.
#10 Do something nice for her. Getting her flowers as a replacement for, “I’m sorry” is never a good idea. That being said, if your argument is over but there are still hurt feelings, do it. Get her something you know she’ll love as a means of showing her just how much you want to make things right.
#11 Show her you’re sorry. It’s not always enough to just say so. Your actions have to change – but so do hers. It really depends on what your arguments were about. But if you’re looking to know how to make up with your girlfriend, you may have been in the wrong here. Show her a difference and she’ll forgive you.
#12 Give her some time to simmer down. You can’t just keep running at her with apologies and stuff she doesn’t want to hear. You have to give her time to relax and get to a place where she can discuss things. If you don’t, she might just be too irritated to accept any form of apology.
The worst thing you can do is let your arguments and fights go on without trying to make them better. These tips will help you figure out how to make up with your girlfriend and actually improve your relationship.